For the Love of Sunflowers

I love this so much. I know I shouldn’t find it funny but my mind has always been in the gutter. This is from a group on the-leaky-cauldron.org :)

“What did he do to you, Diddy?” Aunt Pentunia said in a quavering voice, now sponging sick from the front of Dudley’s leather jacket. “Was it— was it you-know-what, darling? Did he use— his thing?”

“Well?” said Ron finally, looking up at Harry. “How was it?” Harry considered for a moment.
“Wet.” He said truthfully.

“Harry’s heart began to pump very fast indeed. Defence against external penetration?”

“Panting, Harry fell forwards over the hydrangea bush, straightened up and stared around. There were several faces peering trough various nearby windows. Harry stuffed his wand hastily back into his jeans and tried to look innocent.”

“He was on all fours again on Snape’s office floor.”

“Well, we’ll soon find out, won’t we?” said Snape smoothly. “Wand out, Potter.”
Harry moved into his usual position…

“Instead he contented himself with scrawling a note to Ron: Let’s do it tonight. Ron read the message, swallowed hard, and looked sideways at the empty seat usually filled by Hermione. The sight seemed to stiffen his resolve and he nodded.”

“What d’you mean, I’m not brave in bed?” said Harry, completely nonplussed.

“Well, er, if you must know, Ginny, er, walked in on me the other day when I was - well, never mind - the point is, she spotted me doing something and I, um, I asked her not to mention it to anybody.”

“So.. did you and Ginny do it?”
“What?!”

“Why so miserable, Harry?” he said quietly. “You should be very proud of yourself after last night.”

“Uncle Vernon was still staring, appalled, at the bulge in Dedalus’s waistcoat pocket.” (via: Australia Potter)

inappropriate….

hahahah too good.